Grief Activities for Kids: 20 Gentle Ways to Remember Someone They Love
The best grief activities for kids are simple, short and optional: drawing a feeling, looking at photos, cooking a loved one's recipe, planting something, or making a playlist of their songs. Let your child choose, do it alongside them, and stop whenever they want. Activities give big feelings a shape when words are hard.
Most kids won't sit down and tell you how they feel about a death. They'll draw it, build it, bury a plastic dinosaur in the sandbox and hold a very serious service for it, or kick a ball at the garage door for forty-five minutes. That's not avoidance. For a lot of children, that's the conversation.
Grief activities for kids give those feelings somewhere to go when words are too hard or too big. The best ones are simple, short and optional, the kind of thing a family can try at the kitchen table, in the backyard or on a hard Sunday afternoon.
None of this is therapy, and none of it is required. Activities work best as invitations, one of the gentler at-home tools for helping children with grief. Your child gets to say no to any of them, and that's fine.
Why grief activities help when kids can't find the words
Adults tend to grieve by talking. Kids tend to grieve by doing. A five-year-old may not have words for feeling guilty about being mad at Grandpa the week before he died, but she can scribble a black cloud and a yellow sun on the same page and tell you which one is Grandpa.
Some parents worry that a memory activity will stir up sadness that wasn't there. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its guidance on supporting the grieving child and family, notes that inviting children to express their feelings does not cause their sadness. The sadness is already there. An activity just gives it a shape your child can hold, look at, and set down again.
Making things also gives kids a job. When someone dies, children often feel helpless, because the grown-ups are on the phone and in the kitchen and nobody has told them what they can do. Painting a rock for Grandma's garden is something they can do.
Before you start: let your child lead
The fastest way to ruin a grief activity is to make it an assignment. "Okay, now we're going to draw how we feel about Grandpa" can land like homework. Try sitting down and starting one yourself, and leaving a second set of markers out.
The Dougy Center's advice on how to help a child who is grieving is to give children choices whenever possible. So offer two or three ideas and let them pick, or let them change the activity halfway through. If a memory drawing turns into a drawing of a monster truck, let it. The same Dougy Center guidance notes that children grieve in cycles and need breaks from grief, and that having fun isn't disrespectful to the person who died.
Keep it short, too. Ten minutes is plenty for a preschooler, and a teenager may want to do something alone, in their room, with the door closed. Respect that.
Activities for toddlers and preschoolers
Little kids do best with things that are physical, sensory and over quickly. They also need help remembering. The Dougy Center's guide to supporting grieving preschoolers notes that sharing photos, stories and details about who the person was helps young children remember them.
- Photo lap time. Sit together with a stack of printed photos and name what you see: "That's Grandpa at the lake. Look at his silly hat." Let your child hold the pictures and pick a favorite for their room.
- Sing their song. If the person sang a certain lullaby, a hymn or a goofy car song, sing it together. Toddlers love repetition, and a familiar tune can feel like a hug.
- A sticker card. Give your child a folded piece of paper and a sheet of stickers and let them make a card for the person who died. It doesn't need to say anything. Ask if they want to keep it, put it by a photo, or take it on a visit to the grave.
- Bubbles for missing. Head outside with a bubble wand. With each bubble, someone says one thing they miss or love about the person. It's light, it's quick, and kids who don't want to talk can just blow bubbles.
- Play it out. Young children often act out big events with toys: a hospital for stuffed animals, a funeral for a teddy bear, a toy car driving to Grandma's house. Join in if invited, and let the story go where your child takes it.
- Plant something. Plant a few seeds in a paper cup or a sturdy flower in the yard, and talk about the person while you water it. Choose something hardy, like marigolds, because a dead plant is not the lesson anybody needs right now.
- Coloring side by side. Coloring can calm busy hands and make it easier to talk without eye contact. Our free Rally coloring pages are one simple option. They aren't grief therapy, just a calm thing to do together while you see what comes up.
Art and writing grief activities for children
Art lets a child show a feeling without having to explain it, which is a relief at any age.
- Color your feelings. Draw a big outline of a person or a heart and let your child fill it in with colors for different feelings: blue for sad, red for mad, yellow for the happy memories. There are no wrong colors. Ask about it only if they seem to want you to.
- A letter to them. Older kids can write a letter to the person who died, telling them about school, the new puppy, the thing they never got to say. Some kids want to read it aloud, some want to seal it, and some want to tuck it into a pocket and never mention it again.
- "Remember when" cards. Write "Remember when..." at the top of a few index cards and let your child finish them in words or pictures. For a journal-loving kid, these make easy prompts. Never read a grief journal without permission.
- Squeeze it out. Clay and play dough are great for angry feelings. Pounding, squishing and rolling a lump of dough is allowed, encouraged even. Some kids like to make something afterward, and some just like the pounding.
- A "things they loved" collage. Cut pictures from old magazines and catalogs of the things the person loved: gardening, baseball, coffee, a particular kind of dog. Glue them onto poster board. It turns into a portrait without anyone having to draw a face.
- A comic strip of a good day. Fold a page into four boxes and have your child draw a favorite day with the person, one scene per box. Comics feel less serious than "write about your feelings," which is exactly why they work for some kids.
If your child loves the writing and drawing, those pages can go into a bigger project later. We wrote about making a family memory book with kids and, for objects and keepsakes, building a memory box together.
Movement, nature and music activities
Not every child is an art kid. For some, grief lives in their legs and lungs.
- A memory walk. Walk a route the person liked, or a trail they used to take your child on. Collect one small thing on the way, like a pinecone or a smooth stone, to bring home.
- Run it, kick it, throw it. Shooting hoops, kicking a ball against a wall, racing to the fence and back. Big feelings often need a physical way out, and running around the yard is a perfectly valid way to grieve.
- Their playlist. Make a playlist of the person's favorite songs, or songs that remind your child of them. Play it in the car or while cooking. Teenagers in particular often take to this one.
- Painted garden rocks. Paint a rock with the person's name, a heart, or a picture of something they loved, and set it in the garden or a flowerpot by the door. Kids like knowing it's out there.
Grief activities for the whole family
These work well on birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, or any evening when the house feels heavier than usual.
- Cook their recipe. Make the person's famous chili, their pancakes, their slightly burnt cookies. Kids can measure and stir. The smell alone often gets the stories going.
- A memory jar. Keep a jar or box with a slot on the counter, and let anyone drop in a written memory whenever one comes up. The Dougy Center's holiday tips for grieving families describe a similar idea: a wrapped box with an opening where family can drop in written memories to read together later.
- Story night. Light a candle on a meaningful date and go around the table, each person telling one story about them. Funny stories count. The time Grandpa drove to the wrong airport counts.
For more ways to keep someone present over the years, read keeping a grandparent's memory alive for your kids. If the hard days are coming up around the holidays, there are more ideas in remembering loved ones during the holidays.
When an activity brings up big feelings
Sometimes a sweet idea goes sideways. Your child bursts into tears halfway through the collage, or rips up the letter, or announces they hate this. That doesn't mean the activity failed. Often it means a feeling finally found a door.
Stop, sit close, and let the tears happen. You can say something simple, like "This is a really sad feeling. It's okay to feel it." Put the project away if your child wants to. You can always come back to it another day, or never.
Don't be surprised, either, if your child is crying one minute and asking for a snack the next. Child Bereavement UK describes this as puddle jumping: children jump into a puddle of sadness, then jump right back out, a kind of built-in safety mechanism that keeps feelings from becoming too much at once. If your child is struggling with feeling happy and sad at the same time, we wrote about helping kids with mixed feelings after a death.
Activities can't carry everything, though. The AAP's guide to grief and loss in childhood suggests watching for major, lasting changes in how your child handles everyday life. If you notice them, or if your child talks about wanting to die or to be with the person who died, contact your pediatrician or a child grief specialist. Children's grief programs can help too. The National Alliance for Children's Grief keeps a searchable directory of children's grief programs, including peer groups, camps and virtual options.
If you or your child is in crisis, call or text 988 in the US, any time. Our grief resources page has more places to turn.
Most of the time, though, it will be quieter than all that. A kid at the table with a fistful of markers, drawing a lopsided picture of someone they loved, and you sitting beside them with your own picture going, neither of you saying much at all.
Questions people ask
What are some simple grief activities for young kids?
Easy starters include looking through photos together, drawing a favorite memory, singing a song the person sang, planting a flower, or blowing bubbles while each person names one thing they miss. Keep it short and hands-on, and let your child choose. A coloring page or a card covered in stickers can be plenty for a toddler or preschooler.
What grief activities work for teenagers?
Teens often prefer activities with privacy and choice: journaling, making a playlist of the person's songs, putting together a photo project, cooking a favorite recipe, or volunteering somewhere the person cared about. Offer options rather than assignments. Many teens will want to do these alone, and respecting that is part of supporting them.
Why do activities help grieving kids more than just talking?
Children often work through big feelings by playing and making things rather than talking about them. An activity gives a feeling a shape when words are hard, and it gives a child something to do when they feel helpless. Inviting children to express their feelings doesn't create sadness; it gives sadness somewhere to go.
How do I get my child to do a grief activity without forcing it?
Invite instead of assigning. Start the activity yourself and leave space for your child to join, offer two or three choices, and keep it short. Let them change the activity, take a break, or stop altogether. If they say no, that's fine. You can offer again another day, and many children come back to it on their own.
What grief activities can you do with a toddler?
Keep it sensory and brief. Look at photos and name the person, sing a song they sang, put stickers on a card for them, or blow bubbles outside. Toddlers don't understand death the way older children do, but they notice who's missing, so short, repeated moments with photos and stories help them remember.
Which art activities help kids express grief?
Feelings drawings, painting to music, squeezing clay or play dough, and collages of things the person loved all let children show emotions without having to explain them. Comic strips of a favorite day can work for kids who find feelings drawings too serious. There are no wrong colors or right answers, and you don't need to ask what it means.
Can running around or playing outside help a grieving child?
Yes. Movement helps release stress, and for some children grief comes out through their bodies more than their words. Shooting hoops, kicking a ball, racing in the yard, riding bikes or taking a walk on a trail the person loved are all valid ways to grieve. Outdoor play also gives kids a needed break from heavy feelings.
What grief activities work for kids who don't like art?
Match the activity to your child's interests. Building with blocks or Legos, cooking a favorite recipe, playing a sport the person enjoyed, making a playlist, telling stories, or taking a memory walk can all work. The point is connection and expression, not art, so any activity your child already loves can become a way to remember.
How do I use a feelings chart with a grieving child?
Offer a simple chart with faces showing different feelings, like sad, mad, scared, happy and tired. Check in once a day, maybe at dinner or bedtime, and let your child point to how they feel. Accept whatever they pick without trying to change it. You can share your own feeling too, which shows that every feeling is allowed.
Can journaling help a grieving child?
For children who like to read and write, yes. Simple prompts like "Remember when" or "Something new to tell you is" can help them get started. Drawing in the journal counts too. Respect their privacy and never read a grief journal without permission, and never require journaling. It works best as an option, not homework.
What grief activities can a classroom do when a student loses someone?
Classmates can make simple cards for the student, and teachers can offer a quiet corner and some flexibility with work. Talk with the school counselor and the family first about what the student wants, since some children prefer that classmates not make a fuss. Resources from groups like the Coalition to Support Grieving Students can guide teachers.
What can our family do together on a really hard grief day?
Pick something calm and connecting. Cook the person's favorite meal, visit a place they loved, look through photos, watch a home video, or light a candle and share stories. Keep expectations low. On some hard days the best activity is a movie on the couch together, and that's enough.
Are coloring pages helpful for children who are grieving?
They can be. Coloring calms busy hands and makes it easier to talk side by side without eye contact. Free pages, like the Rally coloring pages on this site, are an easy option to keep on hand. Coloring supports a child, but it doesn't replace grief care, so reach out for help if your child seems stuck.
What can kids make from the clothes of someone who died?
A shirt, flannel or sweater can become a memory bear, pillow, or quilt square that a child can hold and keep. Many sewists offer this as a service, or a crafty relative might help. Kids can choose which piece of clothing to use. Keep another item unwashed if your child likes how it smells.
Are there grief activities for kids that cost nothing?
Yes, many of the best ones are free. Drawing, storytelling, looking at photos, nature walks, writing a letter to the person, singing their songs, and making a memory jar from a cleaned-out jar and scrap paper cost nothing. What matters most is the time you spend together, not supplies.
What should I do if a grief activity makes my child more upset?
Pause, sit close, and let them know the feeling is okay. Tears don't mean the activity failed; sometimes a feeling has finally found a way out. Put the project away if they want to. If distress keeps building, stop and comfort them. If big changes in mood or behavior last, talk with your pediatrician.
Is it weird to do a craft about someone who just died?
Not at all. Making something is one of the oldest ways people grieve, from quilts to carved headstones. A craft also gives children a job when they feel helpless and left out of adult conversations. Keep it simple, let your child choose, and know it's fine if they decide they're not ready yet.
How often should we do grief activities with our kids?
There's no schedule. Offer an activity when your child seems to need it, when they bring up the person, or around meaningful dates like birthdays and holidays. Some families do something small every week at first, then less often. Follow your child's lead, and don't turn remembering into a chore.
Can music and songs help kids grieve?
Yes. Music can comfort and bring back memories quickly. Making a playlist of the person's favorite songs, singing a song they used to sing, or dancing in the kitchen to their music are all gentle options. Some songs may bring tears at first, which is okay. Let your child decide when to play them.
What is a children's grief camp, and is my child old enough to go?
Grief camps are usually free programs run by nonprofits and hospices, where grieving kids spend time with others who understand while doing ordinary camp activities. Age ranges vary by program, and many serve school-age children and teens. The National Alliance for Children's Grief has a searchable directory of programs, including camps, to help you find one nearby.
If today feels like too much
You can call or text 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, US) any time, day or night. More places to turn, including grief groups and therapists: grief support and crisis resources.
Something gentle for the kidsRally Takes the Train is a hand-painted picture book about a corgi, a dark tunnel, and the people waiting at the end of the line.
Why it was writtenSources
- How to Help a Child Who Is Grieving, Dougy Center
- American Academy of Pediatrics Offers Guidance on Supporting the Grieving Child and Family, AAP
- Supporting Grieving Preschoolers, Dougy Center
- Holiday Tips for Grieving Children and Families, Dougy Center
- Children's Understanding of Death at Different Ages, Child Bereavement UK
- Grief and Loss in Childhood: How to Help Your Child Cope, HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics)
- Find Support, National Alliance for Children's Grief
Written by the Rally Takes the Train team for Finding the Light After Loss, a library for adults grieving a mom or dad. General information, not medical or mental health advice. How we write about grief.